Family holidays like Christmas can be really difficult for survivors of sexual violence. Anything can happen, from hearing a triggering holiday song to seeing the relative that assaulted them. It’s especially hard because most survivors have to put on a happy face when all they want to do is break down.
To all survivors, stay strong! As the holidays come and go and each year, you get stronger and better at getting through them. While hiding in your room all day is one option, here are a few other things you can do to cope with holiday stress!
1) Find your support system!
Your best friend? Sibling? Favorite cousin? Use them! While you may not want to confide in them fully if you haven’t already, just let them know that you need support. Have them stick with you and keep you grounded while your family is visiting. If you are ready to confide, be sure to give them a list of things/family members that trigger you.
2) Indulge in self-care!
Whatever it looks like for you, self-care is the number one way to make it through tough times. Take a bath, go on a jog, read a book or play a video game, meditate and do yoga until you’re a pretzel! Whatever it is that makes you feel good, do it! Find the solitude in yourself and create a ritual to return to whenever you’re feeling stressed.
3) Set hard boundaries for yourself and your family!
As the holidays get closer, compile a list of personal boundaries for yourself. It can be hard to get away from hugging that uncle or leaving that conversation but if you write out your boundaries, it will be easier to remember and honor them. Also, set family boundaries and discuss or give the list to your chosen support system. They can stop that hug or conversation for you before it goes too far.
4) Take a vacation!
Taking a vacay during the holidays can seem selfish and your family may not agree to it, but do it anyway. Since you already have time off and may be getting some extra holiday cash, treat yo’self! Vacations are the perfect way to literally escape seeing toxic family members and relax during a time that would normally bring you extreme stress.
5) Don’t give into any pressure!
One of the hardest things to deal with during the holidays is pressure. Pressure to be or act like someone you’re not. Pressure to agree to things that make you uncomfortable or that you just don’t want to do. Give yourself a break and ignore all of the pressure this holiday season. Be who you are comfortable being and don’t do anything that upsets the comfort you create in yourself.
They’re not always easy to navigate but the holidays don’t have to be a stressful time. You deserve to enjoy this season without feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed. Wherever you decide to spend your holidays, make sure you’re comfortable!
If you’re feeling alone or need someone to talk to, please visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
Read/Comment here: https://medium.com/@petra_19857/survivors-guide-to-handling-the-holidays-2c3d3db6f24a
-Petra Rich