Petra’s Perspective
Despite the emotional whiplash of 2018, we all made it to the new year! We lived through the glory and the horror of #MeToo, #TimesUp, #BelieveSurvivors and the media firestorm that seemed to never end. 2019 is our year to reclaim our lives. It’s time to stop focusing on assaulters and focus on survivors. We need to uplift and empower those who have experienced sexual assault and/or harassment, and in order to do that, we have to help them heal.
Healing is an inevitably painful journey. However, it is also rewarding, empowering and necessary. It hurts because it requires revisiting the pain of the past, to analyze it on different levels from different angles. Opening up to that pain can be even harder than going through it in the first place because we must choose to feel it. While it seems crazy to voluntarily engage with memories of what was probably the worst time in one’s life, it’s the only way to truly move forward.
Survivors, you may be reading that last paragraph thinking:
“What does that even mean? How do I do that? What if I can’t do all the things people say I should? What if I’m not ready to face the trauma? How will I find myself again after what I’ve been through?”
Whatever you’re questioning, whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. And nothing about what happened to you is your fault and there is absolutely nothing you should feel guilty about.
Starting the journey towards recovery can be intimidating and confusing. It’s filled with so many mixed emotions and handling them all can seem so hard it makes you want to quit before you even really get started. While that’s understandable, you can’t give up. Take breaks, take deep breaths, take a nap, do whatever you need. Just don’t give up. Giving up on the process means giving up on yourself and your future. Also, it gives control back to your attacker(s) and your trauma.
There is no right way to heal. The process looks different for everyone and happens at different times, although indulging in drugs and/or alcohol to numb the pain, or blaming yourself or disconnecting from life all together hurts more than it helps. There are plenty of methods you can use to move past your experience that don’t involve spiraling down a dark path.
It may also seem as though healing is this ultimate end goal where all of your trauma fades and you become a constantly strong and powerful superwoman, but that’s not quite how it goes. Healing is not a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow; it is an ongoing process that requires intense work and awareness. There will be accomplishments big and small but the work will never be over. There will be days where you feel on top of the world and days where the weight of the world will crush you.
As you progress on your journey, the good days will start to outweigh the bad. You will feel yourself becoming stronger and you will no longer allow bad days to crush you. You will be a different you, a stronger you. A you that acknowledges your trauma as a part of your narrative but no longer lets it be the guiding force of your story.
It’s time to take back control and move onto the next chapter of your life. Are you ready?
Full Article: https://medium.com/@petra_19857/in-2019-were-healing-and-writing-our-own-stories-bf2d3a90e1fd